Three hapless robbers, HOGAN, BRAIN, AND PINK, are on the run after inadvertently robbing the coin collection of feared Tong boss MR. CHU. Unbeknownst to the inept robbers, one of the stolen coins contains a stolen military microchip Chu has just sold to a rogue third-world nation.

Mr. Chu's ambitious nephew SIU and his Tong crew are tasked with retrieving the microchip. They relentlessly pursue the inept robbers into a state park, not knowing they too are being pursued by FBI agent DICK APPLEGATE, exiled to this regional backwater for blowing an earlier case against Chu and desperate to turn his fortunes around.

Hogan, Brain, and Pink are mistaken for wilderness guides by MAURA TOOMEY, a social worker who has arranged an Outward Bound-style wilderness survival experience for six troubled youths assigned to her care: KIM, a former child prostitute. NINA, a girl with a fixation on death. JUAN, a gang wannabe. Twins WIM and ZIM, firebugs with a dark secret. And REGINA, a big girl with dangerous anger issues.

Discovering that an APB is out for their arrest and realizing the Tong are closing in, Hogan, Brain, and Pink pretend to be the hired wilderness guides, using the kids to cover their escape. Once clear, their plan is to dump the kids and trek through the park for their one chance at escape, a freight train that passes through the far end of the park every few days. Unused to the wilderness, the robbers struggle to reach their goal while surviving nature, troubled teens, the Tong, the FBI, and unexpectedly, HARRY, BARRY, and LARRY, the real wilderness guides who are also militant survivalists and take offense at their "mission" being stolen.

What follows is a journey where the inept robbers and the kids both discover who they really are inside and how important they all are to each other.